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BIRTHDAY CARDS

What kind of greeting card store would we be without a happy birthday selection? Thankfully we’ve got a better sense of humour than most shops on the web, so we think you’ll agree that ours are a lot ruder and funnier than your generic high street brand.



Arcade birthday wanker

Product Code: AG001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Stop tugging that joystick for 2 minutes and appreciate this fucking card!

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an addition coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


Stop tugging that joystic..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Attention seeking wanker

Product Code: INSLT002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

For that friend that makes it all about them.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an addition coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.

For that friend that make..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Bald cunt

Product Code: CR004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're bald. You're a cunt.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


You're bald. You're a cun..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Birthday cunt

Product Code: CR002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's your birthday. You're a cunt.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


It's your birthday. You'r..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Birthday wanker

Product Code: WR005

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Wahey, it's your birthday. Doesn't stop you being a wanker.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


Wahey, it's your birthday..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

BITCH

Product Code: BAW020

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

There always one friend with a face like a slapped arse.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


There always one friend w..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Boobie invaders

Product Code: AG002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

We're adults now, we want to shoot on something else...

We're adults now, we want..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

C / U / N / T

Product Code: INSLT003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

A softer way to tell your friends what you think of them.

A softer way to tell your..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Cheeky finger blast?

Product Code: MISC004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fingering is under rated and we're bringing it back.

Fingering is under rated ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

CUNT

Product Code: INSLT009

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Who's a cunt?     --> THIS GUY <--

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.

New
Who's a cunt?  ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fat cunt

Product Code: CR010

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're fat. You're a cunt.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


You're fat. You're a cunt..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fridge magnet cunt

Product Code: HB003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Admit it, we've all done this to our fridge at some point.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


Admit it, we've all done ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fucktard

Product Code: INSLT010

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fucktard: Noun - a contemptible or stupid person.

Fucktard: Noun - a contem..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Ginger cunt

Product Code: CR011

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're ginger. You're a cunt.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


You're ginger. You're a c..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday bitch tits

Product Code: HB010

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

One word: MOOBS

One word: MOOBS..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday fuck face

Product Code: HB011

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Your face looks like a punched lasagne. Happy birthday!

Your face looks like a pu..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday knob cheese

Product Code: HB012

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Many happy returns, now go wash the smeg off your cock.

Many happy returns, now g..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday slut

Product Code: HB009

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

We know you can't keep your pants on but we still love you.

We know you can't keep yo..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday wank chops

Product Code: HB006

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
We're not sure if this one's offensive or not, but we like it all the same.
We're not sure if this on..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday you cock hungry whore

Product Code: HB001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
What better way to let your friend know they've been fucking too many strangers?
What better way to let yo..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday you massive cum guzzler

Product Code: HB007

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
What's that on your lip? Oh it's jizz, again. You dutty fucker.
What's that on your lip? ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday you miserable wanker

Product Code: HB005

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
We know it's your birthday but crack a fucking grin from time to time!
We know it's your birthda..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy fucking whatever

Product Code: HB008

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fuck the occasion, this one caters for all your needs.

Fuck the occasion, this o..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you almost as much as masturbating

Product Code: LV009

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's a toss up, but masturbating wins hands down.

It's a toss up, but mastu..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you despite that excuse for a penis

Product Code: LV011

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Don't worry, it's how you use it that counts... *coughs*

New
Don't worry, it's how you..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you even when you QUEEF

Product Code: LV012

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
Perfect for that friend who's always farting from their front bum.
New
Perfect for that friend w..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you from the bottom of my cock

Product Code: PSTL004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

When you're a heartless prick it actually means a lot.

When you're a heartless p..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you like a clit loves a tongue

Product Code: LV013

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Well this is clearly one of THE CUNNING LINGUIST'S favourites... Cunnilingus = Love

New
Well this is clearly one ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you like the clap loves a whore

Product Code: LV010

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
New
..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you more than cocaine

Product Code: LV004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's the weekend, rack it up!

It's the weekend, rack it..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love your burger nips

Product Code: LV002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Like big ol' beef patties slapped right on your bosom.

Like big ol' beef patties..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love your hairy balls

Product Code: LV003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Throw that razor in the bin and get your sack out.

Throw that razor in the b..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love your saggy tits

Product Code: LV014

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Alright there droopy, tuck those nipples back into your belt.

New
Alright there droopy, tuc..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I put semen in your card

Product Code: MISC003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Does this card smell like jizz to you?

Does this card smell like..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Just a cunt

Product Code: CR013

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're just a cunt, plain and simple.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


You're just a cunt, plain..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Lazy cunt

Product Code: CR006

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're lazy. You're a cunt.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


You're lazy. You're a cun..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Love your hairy meat flaps

Product Code: LV008

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

We know you've given up on the razor but we love you anyway.

We know you've given up o..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Miserable cunt

Product Code: CR009

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're miserable. You're a cunt.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


You're miserable. You're ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

MORON

Product Code: BAW016

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sick of that dumb shit you spend time with? Tell them.

Sick of that dumb shit yo..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

NT - CU

Product Code: INSLT011

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Them: What does NT mean?

You: Turn it over

Them: Oh, you cheeky twat



SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


Them: What does NT mean?Y..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
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