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FOR HIM

Where do we begin? So many things we want to say to him, such little time. With these card we suggest you aim right in the danglies and find the most brutal card you can get away with. If you can’t find anything that takes your fancy, try our Insulting Range or search for a keyword using the search function up top.



Arcade birthday wanker

Product Code: AG001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Stop tugging that joystick for 2 minutes and appreciate this fucking card!

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an addition coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


Stop tugging that joystic..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Boobie invaders

Product Code: AG002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

We're adults now, we want to shoot on something else...

We're adults now, we want..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Congratulations on getting engaged you daft pair of cunts

Product Code: WED003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

What have you done you silly people!

What have you done you si..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday fuck face

Product Code: HB011

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Your face looks like a punched lasagne. Happy birthday!

Your face looks like a pu..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday knob cheese

Product Code: HB012

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Many happy returns, now go wash the smeg off your cock.

Many happy returns, now g..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday wank chops

Product Code: HB006

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
We're not sure if this one's offensive or not, but we like it all the same.
We're not sure if this on..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday you cock hungry whore

Product Code: HB001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
What better way to let your friend know they've been fucking too many strangers?
What better way to let yo..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday you miserable wanker

Product Code: HB005

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
We know it's your birthday but crack a fucking grin from time to time!
We know it's your birthda..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy fucking whatever

Product Code: HB008

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fuck the occasion, this one caters for all your needs.

Fuck the occasion, this o..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you almost as much as masturbating

Product Code: LV009

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's a toss up, but masturbating wins hands down.

It's a toss up, but mastu..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you despite that excuse for a penis

Product Code: LV011

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Don't worry, it's how you use it that counts... *coughs*

New
Don't worry, it's how you..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you like a clit loves a tongue

Product Code: LV013

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Well this is clearly one of THE CUNNING LINGUIST'S favourites... Cunnilingus = Love

New
Well this is clearly one ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you like the clap loves a whore

Product Code: LV010

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
New
..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you more than cocaine

Product Code: LV004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's the weekend, rack it up!

It's the weekend, rack it..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love your hairy balls

Product Code: LV003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Throw that razor in the bin and get your sack out.

Throw that razor in the b..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

MORON

Product Code: BAW016

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sick of that dumb shit you spend time with? Tell them.

Sick of that dumb shit yo..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Pacman Cunt

Product Code: AG003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
Chase those bastards you little cunt!
Chase those bastards you ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Shit boyfriend

Product Code: INSLT007

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
Leave a few hints, he might change.
Leave a few hints, he mig..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sorry we don't do anal

Product Code: SRY002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
Ain't nothing going up this shit pipe.
Ain't nothing going up th..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Tiny dick

Product Code: INSLT001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Well this is awkward...

Well this is awkward.....
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

TOSSER

Product Code: BAW017

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Tossssssseerrrrrrr!

Tossssssseerrrrrrr!..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

VIRGIN

Product Code: BAW019

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
Know someone who needs to step up their tinder game? Let them know you're here for them.
Know someone who needs to..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

WANKER

Product Code: BAW018

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Get that dick out of your hand! and open your presents.

Get that dick out of your..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You give me a wide on

Product Code: GWS002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

A card to show your foof's appreciation...

A card to show your foof'..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Your breath stinks of dog shit

Product Code: INSLT008

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Do us all a favour and brush those fucking teeth!

Do us all a favour and br..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Your cock smells of camembert

Product Code: LV007

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Someone say CHEEEEESE! Now go give it a wash you dirty bastard.

Someone say CHEEEEESE! No..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
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