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FOR HER

We’ve all got a special lady in our life that needs to know she’s loved. Whether it’s celebrating the birth of a child, congratulating a bride to be or just simple happy birthday, we think you’ll find something funny in our collection.




A new baby! Your poor vagina

Product Code: BBS001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Need we say more...

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an addition coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


Need we say more...SIZE: ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

BITCH

Product Code: BAW020

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

There always one friend with a face like a slapped arse.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


There always one friend w..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Cheeky finger blast?

Product Code: MISC004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fingering is under rated and we're bringing it back.

Fingering is under rated ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Congratulations on getting engaged you daft pair of cunts

Product Code: WED003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

What have you done you silly people!

What have you done you si..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday bitch tits

Product Code: HB010

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

One word: MOOBS

One word: MOOBS..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday fuck face

Product Code: HB011

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Your face looks like a punched lasagne. Happy birthday!

Your face looks like a pu..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday slut

Product Code: HB009

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

We know you can't keep your pants on but we still love you.

We know you can't keep yo..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy birthday you massive cum guzzler

Product Code: HB007

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
What's that on your lip? Oh it's jizz, again. You dutty fucker.
What's that on your lip? ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Happy fucking whatever

Product Code: HB008

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Fuck the occasion, this one caters for all your needs.

Fuck the occasion, this o..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

He finally proposed. I hope his dick is worth it

Product Code: PSTL002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Looks like you won't be seeing any new penis ever again!

Looks like you won't be s..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you almost as much as masturbating

Product Code: LV009

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's a toss up, but masturbating wins hands down.

It's a toss up, but mastu..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you even when you QUEEF

Product Code: LV012

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
Perfect for that friend who's always farting from their front bum.
New
Perfect for that friend w..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you from the bottom of my cock

Product Code: PSTL004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

When you're a heartless prick it actually means a lot.

When you're a heartless p..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you like a clit loves a tongue

Product Code: LV013

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Well this is clearly one of THE CUNNING LINGUIST'S favourites... Cunnilingus = Love

New
Well this is clearly one ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you like the clap loves a whore

Product Code: LV010

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
New
..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love you more than cocaine

Product Code: LV004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's the weekend, rack it up!

It's the weekend, rack it..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love your burger nips

Product Code: LV002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Like big ol' beef patties slapped right on your bosom.

Like big ol' beef patties..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

I love your saggy tits

Product Code: LV014

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Alright there droopy, tuck those nipples back into your belt.

New
Alright there droopy, tuc..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's a boy! Your poor vagina.

Product Code: BBS003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Goodbye tight fanny, hello motherhood.

Goodbye tight fanny, hell..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's a girl! Your poor vagina

Product Code: BBS002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Bring on the panty-liners because you'll never have a dry laugh again.

Bring on the panty-liners..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Love your hairy meat flaps

Product Code: LV008

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

We know you've given up on the razor but we love you anyway.

We know you've given up o..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sorry I can't make you cum

Product Code: SRY001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
We're not perfect, but at least we try.


We're not perfect, but at..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

VIRGIN

Product Code: BAW019

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
Know someone who needs to step up their tinder game? Let them know you're here for them.
Know someone who needs to..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're getting married, it's not too late to leave the prick

Product Code: PSTL003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Quick, run. Run for your life.

Quick, run. Run for your ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're pregnant! Enjoy shitting yourself during labour

Product Code: PSTL001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Good news, a new baby is on the way!

The bad news, you're gonna shit your self in front of a room full of people.

Good news, a new baby is ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Your breath stinks of dog shit

Product Code: INSLT008

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Do us all a favour and brush those fucking teeth!

Do us all a favour and br..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
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