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CONGRATS / SORRY

Congratulations

Hip hip hooray, you’ve just passed your exam. Shame you’re a cunt. Oops did I say that out loud? I meant well done.


Sorry

Admit it, you fucked up and now you’ve got to grovel your way out of the situation. Here you are spending £2.99 on a card that’s actually going to get you in more trouble than you were in the first place. Money well spent in our eyes. Just make sure you go full on puppy dog eyes when she opens it.



A new baby! Your poor vagina

Product Code: BBS001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Need we say more...

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an addition coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


Need we say more...SIZE: ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Bon voyage tosser

Product Code: FW003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

See ya pal, don't let the door knock your fat ass on the way out.

SIZE: A6 (105mm x 148mm)

Includes an additional coloured envelope and The Cunning Linguist wax seal, for that extra touch.


See ya pal, don't let the..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Congratulations on getting engaged you daft pair of cunts

Product Code: WED003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

What have you done you silly people!

What have you done you si..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Engaged! He finally grew some fucking balls

Product Code: WED002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

About fucking time, we've been waiting long enough.

About fucking time, we've..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

He finally proposed. I hope his dick is worth it

Product Code: PSTL002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Looks like you won't be seeing any new penis ever again!

Looks like you won't be s..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's a boy! Your poor vagina.

Product Code: BBS003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Goodbye tight fanny, hello motherhood.

Goodbye tight fanny, hell..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

It's a girl! Your poor vagina

Product Code: BBS002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Bring on the panty-liners because you'll never have a dry laugh again.

Bring on the panty-liners..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

New car wanker

Product Code: WR008

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Oooh would you look at that shiny new car, you posh twat.

Oooh would you look at th..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

New home wanker

Product Code: WR002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Be the first to add to unnecessary stuff to your friend's new home with a folded piece of card.

Be the first to add to un..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

New job wanker

Product Code: WR001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You - Yay, you've got a new job.

*You on the inside* -  Fuck off you new job wanker

You - Yay, you've got a n..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Piss off to your new job and stop stealing my lunch

Product Code: FW001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

What they don't realise is you're not joking.

What they don't realise i..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sorry I can't make you cum

Product Code: SRY001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
We're not perfect, but at least we try.


We're not perfect, but at..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sorry I'm a shit daughter

Product Code: SRY004

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You've fucked up, so now's your time to make amends. £2.99 on a card should do it, right?

You've fucked up, so now'..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sorry I'm a shit non-binary child

Product Code: SRY005

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sorry you're shit? Check.

Don't conform to socially constructed genders? Check

This beauty is for you.

Sorry you're shit? Check...
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sorry I'm a shit son

Product Code: SRY003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

The first stage is acknowledgement. Acknowledge you're shit.

Stage 2, buy this card.

Stage 3, go back to being shit.

The first stage is acknow..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Sorry we don't do anal

Product Code: SRY002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
Ain't nothing going up this shit pipe.
Ain't nothing going up th..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Thank fuck you're leaving

Product Code: FW002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

We didn't like you anyway.

We didn't like you anyway..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Uni wanker

Product Code: WR011

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Congratulations of getting into uni, wanker.

Congratulations of gettin..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Well done in your exams, you're a grade A cunt

Product Code: CNGRAT002

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Congratulations you clever little shit.

Congratulations you cleve..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Whoop de fuckin' do

Product Code: CNGRAT001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Oops, did that sound a tad sarcastic? Oh well...

Oops, did that sound a ta..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're getting married, it's not too late to leave the prick

Product Code: PSTL003

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Quick, run. Run for your life.

Quick, run. Run for your ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

You're pregnant! Enjoy shitting yourself during labour

Product Code: PSTL001

£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49

Good news, a new baby is on the way!

The bad news, you're gonna shit your self in front of a room full of people.

Good news, a new baby is ..
£2.99 Ex Tax:£2.49
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